Pestering

Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

It seems like he is a type of peson that is or wants to be very possesive of someone (you) in this case. It might be best to simply not have any contact with him for a while and let the situation cool off. Very politely but firmly tell him that you do not like being talked to and treatedthat way, and then advise him not to contact you until he is ready to treat you the way you want to be treated. If he will not stop, there are ways to make him stop.

I could try that i just don;t wanna hurt his feelings, how shud i say it?

he;s really sweet he;s just doing my head in lol xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:I could try that i just don;t wanna hurt his feelings, how shud i say it?

he;s really sweet he;s just doing my head in lol xxxxxx

Gently and honestly the first time. If he keeps on doing it, tell him to buggar off ungently. Sounds to me like he sees and oppertunity/chance to get back together with you. If you don't see that chance, make sure he knows it isn't going to happen. It may hurt his feelings now, but he'll hurt worse if he puts the time and effort into something that aint gonna be.

babes i've already told him there;s no chance in hell we will ever get back together lol
So u don;t need to worry about that xxx

Us guys often hear "no chance in hell" as, "If you go through hell there might be a chance." Especially those among us guys that are bullheaded with tunnel vision.

trust me babes he knows lol
but thanks for the concern and i've told him aswell, that it's all too much and he's making it hard for me to live my life, i still like him as a mate but for now we shud just quite it down for a bit xxxxxx

I hope it works out for ya. I had to do the samething to a friend a few weeks back. Got to where I couldn't breath without him calling wanting to talk about his wife leaving him. I was more than happy to listen for awhile, but after a month I had to tell him it was time to get on with things and quit stressing over a woman who doesn't want him. That nut even got a hair up his butt that we should go sky diving. Hell no! I aint gonna jump out a plane to begin with, especially not with somebody who was in the state of mind he was in.

thanks sweety hope it all workds ou for you too
it's such an auqward and horrible situation isn;t it?
still we can;t go on like it bei8ng pestered by people, we gotta live our lives xxx

It does stick you in a situation. And as a friend we should be there, but there comes a time when you got to tell them that they are really getting pathetic and annoying. At that point you're being a better friend by telling them the truth.

exactly babes xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

He may be genuinely concerned for you because he understands that you've been messed up, as a result of your recent break-up and you HAVE said some things that, frankly, would have anyone who cares about you, very concerned.
Having said that, if you have told him to buzz off, in a nice way-of course, and he is still bugging you, then you simply delete him as a FB friend. Very quickly he will get the message that you need your space.
I would bet you that if you do what I say, he will understand that you are very serious and will ask you to add him as a FB friend once again, at which point you can add him (since he IS very dear to you) but tell him that the moment you feel he is being overpowering, you will delete him once again.
The boy needs a time-out and, if this applies, maybe you need to keep your FB status updates drama-free for a while, so people won't needlessly worry about you.

Also, I'm not sure if you're aware, but you can use lists in FB to control who gets to see what updates. I haven't used this myself, so I don't know much about it, but maybe it could be useful.

Night-Reaper wrote:

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

You heard of O.C.D? This person has O.X.D.

Night-Reaper wrote:

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

Thanks NR he has been kinda obsessed with me for like 5years now but normally it aint got too bad and we're close mates but recently he's been very obsessive so i've told him to qwit it because i need time to breathe xxxxxx

HotParadox wrote:He may be genuinely concerned for you because he understands that you've been messed up, as a result of your recent break-up and you HAVE said some things that, frankly, would have anyone who cares about you, very concerned.
Having said that, if you have told him to buzz off, in a nice way-of course, and he is still bugging you, then you simply delete him as a FB friend. Very quickly he will get the message that you need your space.
I would bet you that if you do what I say, he will understand that you are very serious and will ask you to add him as a FB friend once again, at which point you can add him (since he IS very dear to you) but tell him that the moment you feel he is being overpowering, you will delete him once again.
The boy needs a time-out and, if this applies, maybe you need to keep your FB status updates drama-free for a while, so people won't needlessly worry about you.

Thanks HP i understand mates being concerned but there's a line between being a concerned friend and being obsessive and he's crossed it a hell of a lot lately so i gotta get it sorted!

Kazza wrote:Also, I'm not sure if you're aware, but you can use lists in FB to control who gets to see what updates. I haven't used this myself, so I don't know much about it, but maybe it could be useful.

Yeah it's either all your friends seeing it or non of them lol
but if i remove him off my fb i might not have to worry thankies Kazza xxxxxx

CarolinaHound wrote:

Night-Reaper wrote:

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

You heard of O.C.D? This person has O.X.D.

This is gonna sound stupid but i dont get what O.X.D means lol xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:

CarolinaHound wrote:

Night-Reaper wrote:

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

You heard of O.C.D? This person has O.X.D.

This is gonna sound stupid but i dont get what O.X.D means lol xxxxxx

O.C.D. is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The poor people that have it obsess over certain things like cleaning or organizing to the point if something is just the slightest bit out of place it drives them crazy.

O.X.D is this dude being obsessed with xshivx.

I know what OCD is i think me and ma dad have it LOL

i just dint get the other bit cus i was being stupid sorry lol xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:

HotParadox wrote:He may be genuinely concerned for you because he understands that you've been messed up, as a result of your recent break-up and you HAVE said some things that, frankly, would have anyone who cares about you, very concerned.
Having said that, if you have told him to buzz off, in a nice way-of course, and he is still bugging you, then you simply delete him as a FB friend. Very quickly he will get the message that you need your space.
I would bet you that if you do what I say, he will understand that you are very serious and will ask you to add him as a FB friend once again, at which point you can add him (since he IS very dear to you) but tell him that the moment you feel he is being overpowering, you will delete him once again.
The boy needs a time-out and, if this applies, maybe you need to keep your FB status updates drama-free for a while, so people won't needlessly worry about you.

Thanks HP i understand mates being concerned but there's a line between being a concerned friend and being obsessive and he's crossed it a hell of a lot lately so i gotta get it sorted!

Right.That's why i suggested that you delete him from your FB at least for a while. Or do what Kazza suggested. Either way, YOU get to control your FB.

i know hun xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:I know what OCD is i think me and ma dad have it LOL

i just dint get the other bit cus i was being stupid sorry lol xxxxxx

Nope, not stupid. That was just something anybody would have to think about to get.

If u say so lol xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:

Night-Reaper wrote:

xshivx wrote:Okay i have this friend, he's an ex bf and i've been talking to him for nearly 5years now, we were together like 4years ago but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends

But to be honest he is driving me fucking crazy at the mo! normally i dont mind talking to him but he keeps checking up on me all the time, where i am, everytime i update my fb status he asks what's going on and im getting really annoyed with it

If i need or want to talk to him, i will, and i love talking to him normally, but i can;t deal with him pestering me all the frickin time it's driving me nuts!

what should i do? xxx

Sounds like this friend of yours is obsessed with you and that isn't good. You should distance yourself as much as possible.

Thanks NR he has been kinda obsessed with me for like 5years now but normally it aint got too bad and we're close mates but recently he's been very obsessive so i've told him to qwit it because i need time to breathe xxxxxx

I agree that it sounds like you need room to breathe and space to think, yet this friend of your's has become your shadow and I don't blame you at all if you are getting sick & tired of it. It could get worse if nothing is done.

Exactly NR xxxxxx

xshivx wrote:Exactly NR xxxxxx

never forget, speak softly------but-----carry a big stick.

Old Timer wrote:

xshivx wrote:Exactly NR xxxxxx

never forget, speak softly------but-----carry a big stick.

That's how we roll!

Old Timer wrote:

xshivx wrote:Exactly NR xxxxxx

never forget, speak softly------but-----carry a big stick.

I gotta walk softly cause I carry a big stick.

CarolinaHound wrote:

Old Timer wrote:

xshivx wrote:Exactly NR xxxxxx

never forget, speak softly------but-----carry a big stick.

I gotta walk softly cause I carry a big stick.

Yup, yer walking tall.

Old Timer wrote:

CarolinaHound wrote:

Old Timer wrote:

xshivx wrote:Exactly NR xxxxxx

never forget, speak softly------but-----carry a big stick.

I gotta walk softly cause I carry a big stick.

Yup, yer walking tall.

Oh come now, why the sad faces??????????

I have no idea lol xxx

Old Timer wrote:Oh come now, why the sad faces??????????

I think he's trying to call me a fibber.